While cleaning out my computer, attempting to make some space amidst the half-baked scatter of ideas and trailing phrases, I found this gem. I don’t remember writing it. Had no idea it was there. It felt like finding a small treasure. A tiny strand of light, reflecting from my heart. Sometimes I feel like I am being buried under the immense weight of the persistend heartbreak and outrage at the shameful bullying of trans people not only in the US but worldwide. And then a little ray of hope appears…

I wish I could describe to you

how it feels,

because if i could,

if you understood,

you would stop

immediately, and suddenly

have the energy for it.

I wish I could describe to you how it feels,

when it slips out carelessly—

she, meaning me, such a small word

— and for the rest of the day,

even when, with the sun at our back we hike

to the place where all roads look the same,

I hurt, knowing they are not.

I wish I could describe to you

how it feels.

Make it real.